Why April is Seriously Cool

So, I know it's not April yet. Today I turned my wall calender page to April because I had several things to write on it, and I figured, hey, it's just one more day, I'll just pin it here anyway. My roommate comes in and says, "Hey! It's not April!" No, it is, indeed, not April.

But I wish it was.

Here are the exciting things happening in April. For one, Jill Sobule's new CD, California Days (I think that's right, but don't quote me...) is coming out on the fourteenth. Melanie Rawn is publishing Spellbinder 2 (Fire Raiser!) sometime in April...yeah, I wish I could pin down the date too. My best friend's birthday is in April, which is basically a fabulous excuse for me to drive up to the big city to see her (Wish I could see that girl more often). On top of that, there's Easter, which is one of my favorite celebrations EVER!

I thought I might include some interesting facts about April as long as I was on the topic. Be warned that I am lazy and am therefore getting my information from Wikipedia, meaning that it may be accurate, or it may be absolute bullshit, but either way, it ought to be interesting.

April is National Poetry month, Sexual assault awareness month, and Jazz Appreciation month. And don't forget April Fools Day. When I was ten years old, I had the perfect plan for April Fools. I was going to get up early out of bed and tell my mother that it had snowed and that school was canceled (hell, it was worth a shot, right?) So I get up on April 1st and while my mother is in the bathroom, I look out the blinds, thinking about my awesome plan to find that it has been snowing all night long and that school has been canceled. Foiled again. It would have been great if that hadn't happened. Then again, I certainly didn't mind the day off. Having April Fool's off when you are a kid who is bullied frequently is quite wonderful.

Anyway, I'm excited for April (one day more!).

So yesterday...I cut myself four times. I succumbed to the feeling, but I'm hoping I won't again. I think I told you about a story I'm writing called Razor Freak. Well, even though it has no direct relation to my life (except for the cutting), writing it is extremely, because of how I'm writing it. The idea is that this girl, who has no friends, kind of makes her own and she lives so deeply in her own world that things talk to her and this includes the razor, who is always tempting her to make another cut, it's always whispering in her ear. This can be mildly triggering for me to write or read or edit, so I gave into this feeling I've been missing. But I'm sincerely trying to to have this problem again. Baby steps. One day at a time. If I can just make one day at a time, I'll be okay.

What hurts me more, inside, is that I got into an argument with my mother yesterday and she asked me (because she can, apparantly) if I'd cut recently. And I had literally made these cuts an hour before. "No," I said, placing my legs closer together and pushing my bag further up in my lap, so she couldn't even see down to the floor where my feet were.

This is going to be the last. I'm going to try as hard as I can for this to be the last.

I'm doing better, but I could use all the encouragement and silent prayers I can get, my nonexistant followers.

Lizzie Arlen

"I Can Hear Music"

So, I decided to put as my title the song I was listening to, because not much is going on right now. I thought I would do a short blog on what I'm up to really quick, because once again, I'm not really sure how long this connection will last. So, at the moment I'm listening to the Beach Boys, but I think I'm going to change soon.

My friend Julia and I are going to watch movies all day long and just chill. We're definately in a Jane Austin mood because we're watching the last half of Pride and Prejudice first. Then we're watching Hope Floats, Garden State, Gia, Garden state, Chocolat, and Fried Green Tomatoes (one of the best movies ever!).

I'm continuing to work on my writing. Natalie has a new chapter ready for uploading (I'm waiting until next week however.) No new work on Razor Freak, but I've been busy sleeping and driving to the nearest town with a bookstore. That's truly what bothers me about being at my grandparent's house; its a small town with no bookstore. It does at least have a decent library.

I'm going to try and get a bunch of reading done here as well. I want to finish either Great Expectations (Dickens) or Change of Heart (Picoult). I want to start the Dragon Prince sequel (Rawn). But more than anything else I just want to do something productive. I really like Great Expectations, though it is nothing like I thought it was. I was so used to the Wishbone version and while the Wishbone version is great for getting kids hooked on books, they are so loosley based on the original books. Though, I suppose with censoring them and dumbing them down for kids, they do a relatively good job. That show was quite possibly the best thing that happened to me as a kid. Books are cool. Period.

I don't even want to have to tell you how many times I lost the connection in the middle of this blog. It was a ridiculous amount of times, seriously. Several times...blah. The things I go through to write to my nonexistant fan base. See? Appreciate me. I demand it.

Yeah, yeah. I know. No pressure or anything. Well. Have a good day all. I hope you all are well and happy ( I must wish everyone something I can't have--well, its not so much that I can't, its that I don't, but that's another story). Anyway. Go on, I have no more to say for the day.
Lizzie Arlen

It's Been Awhile

Wow, it really has been awhile.
Since the last time I wrote, I have gone halfway through the semester of the last half of my first year in college. I've figured out a new roommate for next year (completely different that my original plan). I've started to narrow down my major (conducting or composing) and I got rid of my writer's block (Natalie has over 100 hits and I'm working on a story called Razor Freak that draws from personal experience, but does not actually come directly from my life. Maybe I'll put some up some time this week)
Since I'm drawing from a random wireless connection, I'm gonna make this short. I felt like writing since I haven't in so long and letting my nonexistent fanbase know that I'm alive. Yeah, I know you missed me, it's very apparant. Like I said, this will be short since I don't know when this could cut out on me.
More soon.
Lizzie Arlen