The Truth About Self Injury?

The Truth About Self-Injury

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So...I found this online, and I was somewhat curious, so I thought I would embed it here, since I don't actually have time to read it at this moment.

Lizzie Arlen

LIMINALITY

The definition as it appears on Wikipedia:

Liminality (from the Latin word līmen, meaning "a threshold"^[1]) is a psychological, neurological, or metaphysical subjective, conscious state of being on the "threshold" of or between two different existential planes, as defined in neurological psychology (a "liminal state") and in the anthropological theories of ritual by such writers as Arnold van Gennep, Victor Turner^[2], and others.^{[citations needed]} In the anthropological theories, a ritual, especially a rite of passage, involves some change to the participants, especially their social status.^[3]

The liminal state is characterized by ambiguity, openness, and indeterminacy.^{[citations needed]} One's sense of identity dissolves to some extent, bringing about disorientation. Liminality is a period of transition where normal limits to thought, self-understanding, and behavior are relaxed - a situation which can lead to new perspectives.^{[citations needed]}

People, places, or things may not complete a transition, or a transition between two states may not be fully possible. Those who remain in a state between two other states may become permanently liminal.^{[citations needed]}

^{I know its sort of a weird post, but it says what I need it to say.}

What brought this up? It's sort of hard to explain. If I understood every thought that went through my mind, life would be much different.

Lizzie Arlen

Starting to feel it...

Feel what you ask?

I'm not actually sure. But I sure do feel something. Stress, anxiety, worry, depression. I can't really sleep at night without taking a nyquil. Then I can sleep okay. I only have like, a week or so more of school. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm looking forward to getting away from school and from my crazy friends (except Ashley). I'm looking forward to never living with Angela again. I'm looking forward to less stress. I'm looking forward to being alone the majority of the time.

I feel sick inside.

What's wrong with me?

Something is wrong with me. I just don't know. I feel sick. My head hurts, and sometimes I feel incapable of smiling.

I feel selfish too. I'm not the only one going through a shitty time. Ashley's having problems too, you know? I want to be there for her, but I feel like such a failure all the time that I feel like I'm not fit to help her through this. I feel like I'm just gonna fuck it up.

I always feel like I'm going to infect people around me with whatever's wrong with me. Does that make sense? No. But its how I feel. I'm afraid that the fact that I'm depressed makes Ashley sad and I don't want her to be sad. That would suck. I mean, more sad than she already is. I hate this whole thing.

I keep having this vision of myself. Drenched in all this blood and it isn't my blood. Not this time. This time, the blood belongs to someone else. Some one I've killed. But I haven't killed anyone. I'm just drenched in it. Head to toe.

What's wrong with me?
Lizzie Arlen